Shorts
by DYlogger
Summary: "Robin called and he wants his shorts back."  One-shot, gen, crack!  Rated for use of the word 'dammit'.


**Shorts**

**By: DYlogger**

**A/N: It's a crack crossover that evolved from a conversation with ChiaroScuroLolita. You may (or may not) know what to expect. (Oh, and the title underline isn't working. D8)**

* * *

"Master, Robin called and he wants his shorts back."

"…Robin as in Ciel?"

"No, young sir, Robin as in 'Batman and'."

"But that's not fair! I had the shorts first! This is Victorian England! Robin shouldn't even be born yet!"

"Yes, well, he was a character over sixty years before you were created."

"Claude, you idiot! You're not supposed to break the fourth wall!"

"If I may, you broke it first."

"Whatever. Hand me the phone. I'm calling Robin."

_Two centuries later…_

"Master Dick, there is an Alois Trancy claiming to be from the Victorian Era asking for you."

"Sweet! He's getting back to me!"

"May I ask what business someone from the nineteenth century has with you?"

"He was wearing my Robin shorts."

_Two hundred years back in the Trancy manor…_

"Claude, I can only hear arguing on the other end! Why can't I hear their conversation?"

"You want to eavesdrop? You probably should have invented a time-travelling phone with better reception."

"…"

"And I'll get right on that, master."

"Good butler."

_Back in our era at Wayne Manor…_

"The shorts were mine first, goddammit!"

"Are you _still_ pissed about that, Grayson?"

"Not _you_, Jason- wait, Jason? How'd you get here?"

"Window."

"Quit quipping."

"Whatever. Who stole your shorts?"

"Some kid from the nineteenth century."

"So someone else had first dibs? I have to go tell Roy."

"NO! Mine were invented sixty years before Alois' were!"

"Dick! You idiot! Don't go randomly breaking the fourth wall! You already got Barbara paralyzed by doing that!"

"Whatever. _My_ shorts have a patent on them."

"They were my shorts too."

"Shut up, Red Hood. Just hand me the phone, Alfred."

_Back in Phantomhive Manor, Ciel was listening to Alois' phone conversation…_

"So Alois, someone else has as ridiculous an attire as you."

"Shut up, Ciel. It was mine first. Besides, I'm pretty sure he named himself after you."

"There is a Ciel Phantomhive somewhere in the future running in those shorts? I must stop this. SEBAS-"

"No! His name is Robin."

"GA-"

"_Jim Macken, pick up this phone and talk to me, dammit!"_

"Don't get your tights in a twist, Robin. What's 'dammit'?"

"Who's Jim Ma-"

"Shut up, Phantomhive. Grayson, those are _my_ shorts."

"I was invented first."

"I come first chronologically."

"How'd you even know my name?"

"Because I am your great-great-great-great-great-"

"Stuff a sock in it, Alois."

"-Grandfather."

_Now let's move back to Dick's time just for the sake of it and a narration…_

"I'm not British."

"Last time I checked, Grayson is a common British last name."

"Screw geneology. They're still my shorts."

"Mine first."

"No they're not. And I have a patent on them."

"What's a patent?"

"Never mind."

"So you admit we're related."

"NO!"

"Richard."

"Again, how do you know so much about me? I'm not even born yet in your time."

"And how did he get a phone?"

"Yeah, how'd you get a phone?"

"A what? This is a distanced vocal communicative device."

"Sure. Where'd you get that?"

"Demon butler."

"Ah."

_Ciel was getting bored with the conversation, so he made a suggestion…_

"Alois, just get him to suggest some other stupid thing to wear so you don't have to wear the idiotic shorts anymore."

"Fine. Look, Robin, I'll stop wearing the shorts if you give me something equally stupid to wear."

"You don't deserve the shorts if you call them stupid."

"Are you going to give me something or what?"

"Hmm… oh. I have just the thing…"

_Two weeks later, Alois' time…_

"Sir, Speedy called and he wants his hat back."

* * *

**A/N (2): This is my first time writing Kuro, so I most likely have the characters wrong. I've never watched the show (and I didn't know what Alois looked like until yesterday and therefore didn't know that Dick's shorts were SO MUCH SHORTER); I've only read the second volume of Black Butler from a friend's persuasion, so what do you expect? Oh, and I can't imagine Alois calling Dick by his nickname, I can only imaging Alois calling Dick 'Robin' or 'Richard'.**

**A/N (3): This is the obligatory 'plz review!1' A/N. When I say obligatory, I mean obligatory. So please review and tell me what you think!**


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